Great Expectations!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to share of the story of our lives as lived out in the last 20 months (a super-condensed version!!). The gal's response was so healing, so refreshing - she simply said - "Wow. That went different than you expected!"

I laughed! Yessssss. Yes it did!!

Sweet K's labor was less than an hour long, and consequently she was delivered at home, on the bathroom floor, with a midwife in attendance (she made it for the last 3 minutes - which is cutting it a wee bit close in my opinion, but I've never been so ecstatic to see anyone in my whole life!!). In our drive way sat 2 ambulances, 1 police car and 2 midwife vehicles. Needless to say, on our small town street, it was quite the spectacle!

However, everything went well, and before we knew it the flurry had passed, and we were settling in with our second baby.

On the 3rd day of her life, things went wonky. Her head circumference was measuring small, and our midwife immediately hooked us up with a super-great pediatrician. What followed was a year of tests, many appointments with specialists, some positive feedback, but an unshakeable diagnosis - primary microcephaly - which is a condition that impacts learning. One can expect development delays in the early years and learning disabilities down the line.

But the wisest doctors, in my opinion, never claim to have all the answers. We had many amazing care-givers, who have not only worked with children, but also their parents :). We had some experiences, also, where that was not the case. And I learned much from those people, even if it made hard things harder and I think they could have handled things differently.

Many many dark days and nights followed with all of this. However, with deep pain and intense searching comes some of the most fruitful, live-giving moments because God is present even in  these things.

"Hope is trusting that something will be fulfilled, but fulfilled according to the promises and not just according to our wishes." Henri Nouwen, A Spirituality Of Waiting.

Sweet K is doing great great great. There are things here and there that are -- different -- and even small differences can feel like very large differences sometimes. And it is not without work. Learning is always work but for some it is more so than others. 

However, even different expectations can become great expectations!!