Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Who owns you...

A sweet gift from a friend.
A reminder --- it's not about me, it's about Him. His glory.
A Love, and Life, like no other.



Saturday, April 6, 2013

Weekend Favorites

On the nightstand...
I've read it twice.
In a row. :)

On the iPod....




Friday, April 5, 2013

The week after Easter


This week has followed the Week of Spring Break (aka. the Week of Crafts, Sort-of-sleeping-in kids, Playing Outside in the massive 8' snow drifts in our backyard and lots of coffee ... for mama :P).

This week has been about sorting and tidying, bringing calm to chaos, cleaning and organizing.

It has also been about moving beyond the season of Lent, the close examination, and walking  more fully in the power of the Resurrection. 
It is about leaning into these words and learning to live them more fully...

The Vine and the Branches - John 15:1-6a

15 I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 
You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 
Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 
If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers....

When I do this life apart from Jesus, it's true. I feel withered. Fatigued, overwhelmed, dried up.
Turn back to His grace, and the way seems clear once again.
Simple promises to cling to every day.
Remain in me.
And I will remain in you.
A gardening analogy for the season of spring that is coming.



Celebrating the Resurrection.


Thursday, March 28, 2013

Can anyone hear me!??

Pffffft.
I can tell by the blog entry dates when, roughly, our precarious sleep situation has fallen to pieces.
Not a lot of fun, those swirly, twirly days of fatigue where things don't always make a lot of sense, but happy to report after weeks of practice, we are on the mend!!

Carrying on.

There are days around this joint when I wonder if anyone is truly listening to a single. word. I. say.
I feel like I repeat myself ... a lot.
Please say that with kindness in your heart. Nope. Try again. With k.i.n.d.n.e.s.s.
Sorry to be a party pooper, but no, you may not jump off the counter. Or run around with a pair of scissors.
Please close fridge door. And the freezer door. And now the fridge door. Again. Stay out of the fridge.
I'm sorry. Using your bathing suit to go swimming in the puddles is not an option for today.

There are times, you know, when I'm mature enough to step in and settle a situation. If Plan A is not working, which usually involves a small amount of reasonable discussion, then it's Plan B.
Which is Say It Once.
Walk Away (especially if the inner temperatures are approaching Steam Coming Out Of The Ears...).
Watch the magic of Logical Consequences (which typically means, NO to a privilege until their YES is  willing obedience).

And I'd LOVE to say I'm mature enough to walk this thru most of the time, buuuut I'm a work in progress, and in the spirit of "keeping it real," there are still many most times when I allow myself to get sucked into a debate and repeat myself. A lot :).

I know. I only have myself to thank!

So. Imagine my surprise, delight and Laugh-Out-Loud moment when I heard this the other day:

Oldest sister was making some sort of noise that Littlest Sister found irritating. Likely whistling.
Littlest sister DID try to solve the problem herself (which is a positive step) by asking Oldest sister to stop.
Which she did not (not quite a positive step).
Littlest Sister became quite irritated.
She started to both raise her voice AND mutter under her breath.
"Will you please stop making that noise. I just can't hear myself think." !!!

She's 2. And she's repeating exactly what she's heard someone else around here (moi!) say!!



Yup. I guess they do listen!!


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The art of truly being happy for someone else...

Every day I learn through my kids. Each one.
Without them, or Jon, I am fairly sure I would not be half the person I am.
Sleeping better at night, maybe :), but certainly no where near the character ;)!

We've been working on our potty-training-skilz for a long loooooong time.
Because of development issues, having two move through this milestone has taxed my patience more than I thought possible.
Though we've seen some major progress, and for this I am thankful, each day we work on this is ... well... work.

Today I was thinking to myself... I will just finish ONE MORE THING before taking K to the potty.... Oh silly self. You'd think you'd learn by now.
Each time you even think that, it is too late.
And it was. Another accident.

And while I'm in the process of cleaning up my five-year-old, my two-and-a-half your old scoots up onto the potty, makes good use of it ;), and proudly pronounces her achievement!

My heart stirs at this point.
Joy mingles with discouragement.

But does K let this discourage her?
Does she compare?
Does she feel wearied??

Absolutely not.

She is L's biggest cheerleader; her biggest fan.

With all the enthusiasm contained within her sweet self, K cheers and claps and YAHs for her younger sister - L has peed on the potty!!

And I bow my head.
Thank you LORD for teaching me.
What it means to Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 NRSV


Every day I need to know this, to remember, and my heart needs you to carry it out.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

when e.n.v.y. strikes

I recently clicked on a blog I hadn't read in a long long while.
As I read, I found myself warming to the idea of bookmarking it as a "regular read" again.
Why did I cut it out in the first place?

The posts are too long. I argued to myself. And they are long. And these days, when I don't do a lot of blog reading, I am very particular about which blogs to follow. Shorter posts are easier to digest quickly.

The content is too deep for me. And it's true. Especially in those sleep-deprived seasons, when anything deep and meaningful can make my brain actually physically hurt. I cut out things that just aren't for me in that particular moment of life. Nothing wrong with that, right :)?

But you want to know one reason I found hard to admit??
I. was. envious.

Plain and simple.

She's a {much!} better writer.
She has more freedom in what she chooses to share with the world.
She's more articulate; she writes books.
She's intelligent.
And she's altogether a lovely person.

So there it is. I cut something out of my life, in part, because of envy.
---
A while back, I was sitting there with my little family, not feeling particularly great about myself.
I am fairly certain I had remembered to brush my teeth before dashing out the door.
I think I managed to put on a splash of make-up in the process.
But everything else felt very drab, dowdy, wrinkled-from-the-closet-feeling.
My hair needed a cut.
Clothes felt too tight in all the wrong places :). Which is really a terrible horrible feeling!!
It was a yucky-feeling day.

Which is fine. They happen. They come and go. It's all part of being human.
Until.
Someone sits down next to you. Polished head to toe. All put together.
And I could feel the old wrestle stirring.

You'll never be enough. Lovely enough. Nice enough. Good enough. Worth enough.
ACK.
Awful.
---
I am learning that the only way to fight these times is through prayer and confession.

As I pray, the LORD works a miracle in my heart. Sometimes relief comes quickly; other times it takes a lot of work and perseverance and careful examination of the nature of the envy in the first place. You see, I am discovering that at the root of envy lies the trap of insecurity. So often, when I want what someone else has, it is because that person seems to possess the very security I lack. I used to think, that when I "grew up," I wouldn't wrestle with self-confidence or trust or courage anymore. Because, well, I'd be an "adult," and don't all "adults" have it all together ;)???? Uh. Nope :). Not this one anyway!!!

And when I confess to someone I can trust, I discover the beautiful, bonding reality that I'm not the only one to struggle with this. In fact, the longer I keep it a secret, the more power it gains. The more open and honest I can be, I see the Enemy lies for what they are worth. Nothing.
---
As I struggled in that moment about how I felt about myself, I prayed that even this would not hinder me from communion with the LORD and with others. And into my heart the LORD whispered ... she is free to be beautiful. And it is true. And a huge weight slipped off my shoulders. Her beauty doesn't mean mine is any less. In fact, the more I sincerely encourage beauty in others, the less I am concerned about my own; the more free to worship I become. So THANK YOU all you lovely ladies out there :) - for the more you genuinely let your heart and spirit shine, the more beautiful this world becomes.

And do I go back to read that blog, or any blog that challenges me in such a way :)? Periodically. Really, uninterrupted screen time is limited (which is probably a good thing!), and I pick and choose carefully. But this way, at least it is from freedom, and not from fear!!

Of course, when envy strikes there's always this option :) ..... just be yourself!!!!



What do you do if .... when? .... envy strikes you?

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Mentor Me

One of the {many} gifts of 2012 was a mentor.

This was a complete surprise to me; something I'd been longing for and praying about on-and-off for 6 1/2 years. It was one of those lovely connections that came about in a round-a-bout sorta way, but it clicked and felt like it was always meant to be.

I've had both informal and formal mentors.

By informal mentors, I mean authors and friends that have spoken into my life. Some of my favorite authors in this category would include Richard Foster, Henri Nouwen, Lisa Samson (novelist, but excellent books; not just entertainment!!) or even evangelists/biblical teachers like Charles Stanley or Kay Arthur.

Friends have oh-so-often spoken into my life. Whether this stretches my work life, emotions, home life, parenting, health and body, I would not be a fraction of the person I am today without honest, sincere, different-than-me friends!!

By formal mentors, I am referring to those relationships that are specifically cultivated so that one can gain wisdom and insight from another, often older (but not always!) person.

Here are a few things I've learned along the way when it comes to selecting mentors.

1. If it's gonna work well, there's gotta be a game plan! What area is God inviting you to grow in? Is there someone who can help you walk through that? By selecting a specific theme, it might be easier to find someone who fits well. If it's too general and vague, you run the risk of totally missing each other's point - you may want mentoring in Area A, but this person is more skilled and fluent in Area B -- and the two may, or may not, be compatible. And yet there is much grace here, because the best part is, even if you do discuss particular "topics,"there's no tellin' how God will use that to shape and challenge you --- it might be in a completely different area of your heart than what you had planned!

At this point in my life, I have the privilege (and responsibility!) to lead music in church. So often I definitely feel like is way above my head and I strongly felt a need for a mentor in this area. However, often times music leaders are men, and not that men are bad ;), but I was definitely longing for a gal pal to hash out some of my questions and wrestlings with :). God led me to a very specific woman who lives in our community but is not from our church. There was a lot of liberty with what we could discuss. However, as we conversed, God used this to challenge so many things - my understanding of Holy Spirit, for example.

2. Create a date ;). Also, particularly in a world full of good (and often very good!) intentions, it is easier to note it on the calendar. For example, with this mentoring relationships, we aimed to meet every 4 weeks, the first Wednesday of the month. If that didn't work, we'd call and create a new date on the calendar. This was very versatile, but at least it gave us both the reassurance that we could keep the commitment without having to worry about trying to carve out the time. AND it gives one something good to look forward to!

3. Honesty is the best policy :). This is a bit of a no-brainer. But it's important to note. The first mentor I ever had was because of our church's practice upon being baptized. I was baptized at age 18, and the year following that was to meet with a mentor that I had chosen. Problem was, I didn't really know myself, and so to share honestly and transparently was a challenge. In my mind, things were fine, (though they were not always fine) and so she thought they were fine, and consequently, since things were apparently fine, we never met very often. Maybe once or twice. Over the course of a year. Not really an accountable mentoring situation! I realize now, that if I had been more honest with both her and myself, that perhaps some learning experiences could've been ... avoided :).

Also, honesty helps communicate expectations - how often do you want to meet? What would you like to discuss? Where would you like to meet? Are all great questions to ask up front.

4. Pray. Pray. Pray. For a period of my life, I was dealing with a very specific, intense situation. I felt like it was best to seek out a counsellor, who had been trained and was knowledgable, to help sort out the practicalities of life. My concern was that, even with a "christian counselor," there is definitely the risk of not being led biblically. The first counselor I met with, while helpful in many areas, fit in that category. Though I am still thankful for her input, I knew it was time for a change. When I initiated a second counselor-situation, I prayed many times :) that this person would be spiritually grounded, and willing to listen to the wisdom of the Spirit as we sought clarity together.

5. Set a time frame. This is fluid, but I recommend setting a time when you re-evaluate the situation. In this relationship, we agreed on 6 months. It's not like we couldn't continue to meet after 6 months, but instead of dragging something out, it would give us both the option of deciding whether the timing was right for this in each of our lives. Our time has come and passed, but I am hoping to connect with her again in spring. To sit and visit with a like-minded individual whose wisdom and experience far surpasses my own. To laugh and pray :). And enjoy a great cup of tea!!

Over the years, I've had the honor of having a few mentors that have been a blessing to me. Whether they knew it or not, they spoke deeply into my life. I am grateful.

Mentorship is a passing art in our culture. Things seem so busy, too full, and in our fairly-individualistic lives, creating time with others outside our immediate circles of influence requires.... intentionality.

Have you ever wanted a mentor? Been a mentor?? Been blessed through a mentor ;)???





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