At this time, six years ago....

Six years ago at this time I was vacillating between "freaking out excited" and "freaking out-freaking out." After a six year journey, I was finishing a college degree and beginning a masters. It was graduation weekend and we were celebrating the accomplishment.

  

But, between Jon and I, we were celebrating/trying to wrap our minds around/jumping for joy/panicking for another reason....

We'd just discovered that we were parents!!!

  

I will never forget the Saturday afternoon when we made this discovery. Exactly one week prior we'd just adopted a sweet little pooch. I've never been much of an animal person, but after talking about it at great length and doing a bit of research it seemed like a grand idea. However, the poor pup didn't stand a chance against the surge of hormones, sensitivity to smells and fatigue that my body was going through (all unbeknownst to me - I just thought I was "emotional" :P). Very quickly it became evident that I was not at all about to bond with this sweet dog. And he was sooooo cute!!

Approximately four days after his arrival, I glanced at the calendar, started to do the counting of days, and got mighty suspicious..... it took until Saturday before I caved and snuck into the local pharmacy, scouted around to make sure that there was no one who recognized me in there, grabbed a pregnancy test (and paid for it :P) and ducked out again. It sat on the counter a little while before I had the courage to use it.

The results didn't take long.
Two little lines.
Two parents in the making; one baby.
Oh. Wow.

 

After breathing a bit, I went outside to get Jon, who was repairing an electrical outlet at the time. I recall how I said, "Jo-on? You better come inside for a moment." He carefully set his tools down. We skittered into the house. He looked at the test. Carefully read through the instructions.
"Two lines."
"Yup."
"According to this that means positive."
"Yup again."
Oh. Wow.

 

We'd been hoping... but weren't sure it would ever happen... and then suddenly, when we least expected it... here it was.... this great gift. As far as we could tell, I was already 6 weeks along. When you're counting life in terms of weeks, that's a long time!!! We waited FOUR MORE WEEKS before telling family, and another TWO WEEKS to share it with co-workers and friends. It was a blessing to keep this just between us for the first while. And it gave us some time to prepare ourselves as well :).

 

The second time I had news to share with Jon, I left the test on the bathroom counter as a surprise for him. Hard secret to keep :).
"Uh, two lines."
"Yup."
"What does that mean again?"
"Positive."
Oh. Wow. Again :).

 

The third time I actually took a picture of the positive test result (Jon was NOT aware that I was planning to take one that day) and emailed it to him at work :)!! Not two minutes later, the phone rang....
"There are two lines on that test."
"Yup."
"Does that mean positive :)?"
"Yup."

It feels like we've traveled a million miles since that first moment. And what an amazing journey it has been. We've learned, grown, survived birth :); created stories and memories; and marveled at these little people God has shared with us for this time.

 

It is a gift. We are grateful.

Oh, and about the dog - soon the hormones settled down and we became excellent pals. In fact, he was very good company during those first few weeks at home. He's the only dog (animal, really) I've ever loved (which is a mighty lucky thing for him, or else he'd gone packin' early on!!) and a fixture in our family. He joins us in most of our family adventures, he's adored by the girls (not sure the feeling is mutual, but he is very very good about it!!) and he sleeps on our bed (something I SWORE I'd never do!!). Couldn't imagine life without him!

Why, Hello There!

Hello Mr. Tooth.

We're pleased to finally make your acquaintance.

I have suspected your arrival for some time now. I was not sure if it was you - or the nasty cold we've been fighting for several weeks - that was the cause of some minor upheaval around here.

Regardless. You have arrived. The cold is gone. Life is back to "normal."

I've tried multiple times to get a picture of you. You are Wee One's OFFICIAL FIRST TOOTH.

This is a photo-moment if there ever was one.

A tiny little pearly white.

Have I mentioned I'm a wee bit thankful now to be using the bottle ;)?

She's a bit of a wiggly little one though, and so it's pretty tough!

Ahem, Mr. Tooth, between you and me, I have mixed feelings about your arrival. Don't get me wrong - you are simply adorable and if my heart didn't melt before at the sight of that gummy little grin, well it's even sweeter now.

However.

You are yet another sign that my sweet little babe is getting older. Maturing. Moving through these milestones with lightening speed.

And that's good and all....

But I'm in no hurry for her to grow up. I love this snuggly little bundle, and just like her two sisters, I try to get all the squeezes and LOVE YOU's and cheek pinches that I can. I certainly don't mind if she dozes off in my arms, or requires a little cuddle after a nap wake-up, or cries ferociously if any one else tries to say hi :).

Because, all too quickly, we'll be counting the teeth that are awaiting the arrival of the infamous tooth fairy and watching as little ones become not-so-little ones and well, it goes fast is all I'm sayin'.

So. If you have a little partner all ready and waiting to show up, can you tell him to hang on just a little :)? I'm in no rush at all.... and I'd like to get a little more sleep before we have to deal with that again!

Love, Wee One's Mama

My Littlest BoBo

Seems like each of my kids has a plethora of nicknames!! Each one seems to resonate with an aspect of who they are and have stuck.

Don't worry, I often call them by their given names too, and not just when they are in trouble!!

Somehow, Wee One got the nickname BoBo. I think Little M got it started with, "HEY THERE, BoBo." And we've been using it ever since!

It's hard to imagine that my Littlest BoBo is over seven months old already. Maybe it's because she's so active, and maybe it's because our journey with Sweet K has taught me to deeply appreciate every little milestone, but she seems to be moving through these stages very quickly! Just this week she figured out that if life is boring while sitting down, you scooch to your tummy and start to squirm. We are just around the bend from crawling. YIKES!!

She's an adorable little gem. She's highly opinionated and quick to offer her perspective.
What a joy.

When I look at her, I often think of what I would have missed if fear had ruled our desire to have another child. After Sweet K, it would've been easy to take the safer route, not open oneself up to change and chance once again. However, experience has taught me that if I based my decision on fear, there would always be a part of me that was not at rest. The part that wanted to get to know and raise and nuture one more baby. The part that desires the best out of this life, and sometimes, though not every time, that involves taking a risk. This felt like a pretty big risk :)!!

At this time last year, we were waiting for test results, waiting for doctors and specialists once again. Our initial ultrasound detected an issue with the baby. My first phone call with the genetist office (the same doctor we have for Kezia) consisted of outlining the possibilities. Cystic Fibrosis. Spina Bifida. Downs Syndrome.

Oh MAN. I took a deeeep breath. I cried a bit. Some days a bit more :). I prayed.
Where would this adventure take us!!?

At a follow-up fetal assessment, we were reassured that everything looked fine. Head circumference was normal and the initial detection was a false alarm.

As a special gift, our technician asked if we wanted to see 3-D images of our baby!
Suddenly there she was!!! Snug and safe and cozy as can be.
(Only we didn't know it was a "she" at the time!!)
An extra blessing was just around the corner - the technician PRINTED OFF these beautiful photos and gave them to us! Just for fun.
God knew what I needed, when I needed it. I am so grateful!!

There've been times when I've backed away from a blessing because I was too afraid to embrace it. What have I missed out on? I'll never know. But I know there is grace to start again. And grace to teach me the importance of pressing through the fear to making the clearest decision as possible. That doesn't mean it'll all turn out quite the way I want it, but then I know deep down I've moved forward in faith, not fear, and that brings peace.

Every day I look at this baby and I am reminded of this truth.
So far she's been healthy, happy (most of the time now, though she started off as a very passionate cryer!!!) and sweet as can be.
My littlest BoBo is a gift, for sure!!

Annnnnd she's FIVE!

On December 21, it was 5 years since the morning (early, 3:38am) that Little M came into this world.

Those 5 years have been filled with much adventure, laughter, discipline :), and quiet and not-so-quiet moments together.

That first week that I was home alone with this tiny baby, I decided to make a trek out to the post office. It was BITTERLY cold, so I was going to take the car. It was my first "outing" alone. It felt like it took forever just to get out the door. Everything still felt awkward and was I forgetting something... blah blah blah. I backed the car out of the garage and down the driveway. All clear. HOWEVER, there was a patch of ice lurking beneath a small pile of snow. The snow was not an issue, but the stupid ice patch was. And there, in my driveway, 1/2 onto the road, I was totally and completely stuck.

Did I mention I'd brought the dog along, just for fun!?

Hmmmm. What to do. Baby is in the car. Dog is now very anxious. I am more than a touch nervous myself. Quite a quandary. A friend neighbor stops by. So thankful for her familiar face, I open my door - and the pooch ESCAPES! It takes me a while to catch him, and when I do, my friend says that her husband clears driveways and would be more than willing to help me out. A simple tug later, and my car is free.... except that in the process, he drives straight off the culvert in ANOTHER neighbors driveway and now his truck was totally and completely stuck. And sitting at an angle that didn't look....good. Five hours later, all the vehicles are back in their respective garages. I never did make it to the mail!

Almost every time we head out together, I ask Little M -- HEY, wanna go off on an ADVENTURE together!? 

One time, when we were headed off to the city for some fun, she calls out from the back seat, "we're off on the greatest adventure EVER!!"

Life is always an adventure.

You just never know what might happen :).

 

She's worn her birthday girl ribbon every day since she got it :). 

Year ONE

 Year TWO

 Jammin' it up on Year THREE

 Cheesin' it up for Year FOUR

 

Year FIVE.

Wow. This pic doesn't show it, but we've probably lit the birthday candle 

about five times. Sung Happy Birthday every time :).

Such a hoot!!!

We've started letting Sweet K blow it out too, 

just to practice for her birthday in June :)!

Happy birthday, my sweet little girl.

You're a one-of-a-kind and we love you very much!

You make us laugh and laugh and laugh.

We are thankful for you.

Bitter sweet

Across the street, the neighbors mature trees are about to burst forth into their spectacular fall foliage. In a few short weeks our own fall-gold ash will turn a brilliant shade of gold. Such a treat! In truth, my whole sun-soaked summer (which I do not want to waste a single minute of though!!) is spent in anticipation of this time of year.

This autumn, however, is bitter-sweet.

This morning Little M joined the ranks of millions of children across North America and headed off to kindergarten.
For the very. first. time.

All summer long my heart has begged time to slow a little.
Well, except for that dreadful week that we had to tackle tantrums, horrendous nights and ultimate sass-fests all in one delightful stretch of 7 days!! That week I was ready to resign and head to the hills for some PAQ!! 

I'm not ready for this.

  

As a SAHM, I feel like until now, I've had front row, centre stage privileges; watching the drama unfold as she grew, explored, played, fought, cried, laughed, learned. I've applauded with standing ovations, held my breath through the tense moments and cried a bit now and then too :) Now, however, I begin to share that remarkable saga with an audience full of other people. Teachers, friends, parents, and many others --- and suddenly I am no longer in the front row all the time (but maybe at least some of the time :P).

She's ready for the adventure of a lifetime. And I'm ready to embrace it alongside of her.

In preparation for the Big Day, we baked fresh buns together so that she could have them in her lunch kit (her request ;p). We painted toe nails, carefully selected outfits, labeled school supplies and laughed and teased and frolicked along the way. It was great. Often though I stood back, tears at the ready, trying to soak it all in.

Today I look around the quiet house in wonder.
Who will line up the plastic dinosaurs so that they can all see out the windows?
Who will talk my ears off :)?
Who will pull out ALL the toys before 9am!?
Who will stand up on the picnic table on the deck, pretending it's a stage, arms stretched wide open singing praises to Jesus? Certainly won't be me! Flimsy little table probably couldn't hold my weight anyway :)!!! Plus, I'm a bit reserved that way, unfortunately!!!


Sweet K and I are feeling a little lost, I think. We blink at each other a lot :). It's good, giving her my one-on-one attention when Wee One is down for her nap. And I feel more good great things on the horizon.

But today is the first day of change.
And it's bitter sweet.

Bed Bugs :)

This weekend marked a milestone around here.


Jon set up the bunk bed :).

The girls were giddy with excitement (understatement of the year!!), feeling all grown up. Many times throughout the day I find Sweet K just sitting on her bed, hanging out. In fact, she totally surprised me by climbing allllll the way up the ladder, dangling precariously at the top and scooting onto Little M's bed before I had a chance to stop her.
I thought we had a little bit before she figured that trick out :). We now remove the ladder for the day!

Normally I love love LOVE the novelty of something new. When I buy a new shirt, I will wear it around the house the next day just for fun :). Ya just never know when you need to look a little more dressed up :).

And, with all the price shopping and internet searching for just the RIGHT BUNK BED, I was just as excited as the girls were. Yet with mixed feelings. In fact, if we didn't have another wee one due to arrive soon, I think I would've been down right depressed!

They are growing. up. Fast.

Feels like just yesterday I tucked first Little M, then eventually her sweet little sister, into that crib. And now they are both little girls. The past few weeks have been tough slugging in the parenting department around here. I love learning about each one, the nuances that enhance their individuality, how their personality is shaping their character. It's a fascinating journey that has me on my knees often. Yet some days it is h.a.r.d. work. Not so much because their phase is particularly difficult, but because of the things I need to learn, the ways in which I am being refined (which are many!), and the control I need to learn to release.

It means saying "yes" more than "no," or saying "no" for the right reasons, rather than avoiding an inconvenience.
It means embracing an interruption rather than resisting it.
It means letting Little M color on my coloring page, even after I've colored it "just so"
or letting Sweet K get her clothes all wet from playing in the sink while we "work" together at the counter.
It means praying on the run, sometimes, because quiet time is scarce.
It means taking time for myself, even when it is not convenient OR it requires a lot of organizing!
It means loving and allowing myself to be loved in our cozy little corner of this crazy world.

It is where I'm meant to be, and it is good.

 

 

Surprisingly, the transition to the "big kid bed" has gone remarkably well. This morning we had a hoot sticking wall stickers all around the room. It's surprising how far the 300 sticker bonus pack will go!!!!! That's a llllllloooooooooooot of stickers :P. And as Little M flitzed past me today, she exclaimed, "our room is soooooo pretty!" I'm glad they like it, because a cozy little bedroom corner has always been important to me. Glad they can enjoy theirs too.