Monday, September 27, 2010

On Becoming Known...

There's nothing like a really great inside joke to bond a great relationship!

Nothing says, "I know you - You know me" like that shared, insider detail that can only be swapped by true pals. A tidbit of information forged out of shared stories, laughter, tears, countless hours of hashing through life's little (and big) issues, listening, learning --- and allowing oneself to become known. 

The process of discovery is a genuine gift; true camaraderie is rare and priceless.

I have thought of this often in the past few months, as I have been getting to know this new little light in our lives. A gem, she is, full of gorgeous smiles and grace that fits with her name. Few things thrill me more than discovering a connection with my child, responding to each one in a way that is meaningful for where we BOTH are at! Or finding a way to bring a smile to their daddy's face :). Or discovering that though I may not have spoken with a friend for some time, it is like no time has passed at all and we're giggling at all the same delightful things all over again.

These words from 1 Corinthians 13 have caught my heart's attention as I've hustled and bustled around the house, chasing kids, tidying toys and squirting the dog with a water pistol so that he learns to STOP EXCESSIVE BARKING!!! Life is never dull :).

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 

The fact that I am fully known by a Savior who loves me takes my breath away. 
Even more astounding, however, is the invitation to get to know His Heart as well!!
He longs to share His world with mine when I sit and listen.

There is beauty in discovering someone.
And there is grace in becoming known.
And what a precious journey it is.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Bitter sweet

Across the street, the neighbors mature trees are about to burst forth into their spectacular fall foliage. In a few short weeks our own fall-gold ash will turn a brilliant shade of gold. Such a treat! In truth, my whole sun-soaked summer (which I do not want to waste a single minute of though!!) is spent in anticipation of this time of year.

This autumn, however, is bitter-sweet.

This morning Little M joined the ranks of millions of children across North America and headed off to kindergarten.
For the very. first. time.

All summer long my heart has begged time to slow a little.
Well, except for that dreadful week that we had to tackle tantrums, horrendous nights and ultimate sass-fests all in one delightful stretch of 7 days!! That week I was ready to resign and head to the hills for some PAQ!! 

I'm not ready for this.

As a SAHM, I feel like until now, I've had front row, centre stage privileges; watching the drama unfold as she grew, explored, played, fought, cried, laughed, learned. I've applauded with standing ovations, held my breath through the tense moments and cried a bit now and then too :) Now, however, I begin to share that remarkable saga with an audience full of other people. Teachers, friends, parents, and many others --- and suddenly I am no longer in the front row all the time (but maybe at least some of the time :P).

She's ready for the adventure of a lifetime. And I'm ready to embrace it alongside of her.

In preparation for the Big Day, we baked fresh buns together so that she could have them in her lunch kit (her request ;p). We painted toe nails, carefully selected outfits, labeled school supplies and laughed and teased and frolicked along the way. It was great. Often though I stood back, tears at the ready, trying to soak it all in.

Today I look around the quiet house in wonder.
Who will line up the plastic dinosaurs so that they can all see out the windows?
Who will talk my ears off :)?
Who will pull out ALL the toys before 9am!?
Who will stand up on the picnic table on the deck, pretending it's a stage, arms stretched wide open singing praises to Jesus? Certainly won't be me! Flimsy little table probably couldn't hold my weight anyway :)!!! Plus, I'm a bit reserved that way, unfortunately!!!

Sweet K and I are feeling a little lost, I think. We blink at each other a lot :). It's good, giving her my one-on-one attention when Wee One is down for her nap. And I feel more good great things on the horizon.

But today is the first day of change.
And it's bitter sweet.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Life, Interrupted

I find it pretty hard to cope pleasantly with interruptions. Whether I'm trying to finish a task, a full thought or a complete sentence, taking interruptions in stride does not come easily.

And lately I've been reflecting on the art of being available; not only willing, but immediately obedient, when the LORD interrupts my carefully laid daily plans and invites me to invest a moment in His kingdom. Perhaps it was a phone call I wasn't expecting, a visit that causes me to set aside my outdoor work (yeah THAT'S why I have a garden full of weeds instead of flowers ;)...) or muffins I hadn't intended to bake, or playing for a few moments on the floor when I have mountains of other things that need to get done.

As I am teaching my children the importance of handling interruptions properly, I myself am being taught. And isn't that they way it should be!? After all, we can only really teach the things we ourselves are in the process of learning.

Usually I give my kiddos the "5-minute warning" before we have to transition to the next activity. Generally this works very well. As humbling as it is, I think the LORD uses this gentle tactic on my heart as well. Only His nudges sometimes occur weeks or even months in advance of the actual change. I can feel it stirring in my heart. A restlessness. A knowing that a step (or even a great big gigantic LEAP!) of faith will be required. An invitation on the horizon.

Leah, the Voice whispers, this is a relationship that will require some attention.
Or Daughter, again that gentle nudge, this is an area of character that needs refinement.

I felt sad this week. One of our neighbors from down the street will have moved out by the end of the month. Though I am thrilled with who will be moving in, I am still sad. See, I received many Divine Invitations to reach out. To get to know my neighbor. To allow our kids to play and hear what was going on in her heart.

And indeed we met once or twice, and tried to get together even a few times after that, but it after a while just became easier to let it slide.
And now she will be gone.
And I missed the chance to embrace another and accept a divine opportunity.

All because I was too busy keeping my life tidy and my home organized and things under control.
I long to be more readily available, to be attuned to these heavenly challenges, more ... interruptible.

Even as I've been writing this post, I have had the opportunity to practice "interruptions."
Seems I have a long, long way to go ;).

But perhaps, with a bit a lot of practice, I can reflect Isaiah's sentiments...
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"


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