Let Heaven and Nature Sing

Snow or no snow :), we've already started decorating for Christmas around here!! The tree will wait until the weekend, but there are evergreen garlands and lights, and little festive, shiny, sparkly bits of fun everywhere!

I was inspired the other day while standing by my dryer, folding yet another load of laundry. A prayer phrase began to stir in my heart. In the past few months, as life has adjusted to the presence of a newborn, and time alone is scarce indeed, the chore task of laundry has often become a place of prayer. It's not for long periods of time, but particularly when there are 5+ loads to sort and fold and wash and dry, I can find myself standing there for a length of time!

As the refrain, let heaven and nature sing!! settled into my mind, I reflected on the simplicity and beauty of these words. 

Too often I feel like I'm scrambling through the day...  

trying to teach the littles all the things I think they'll need to know... 

or attempting to finish at least one chore before starting another (somehow, there are always dishes and seldom a fully tidy counter!!!)... 

or striving to live a life worthy of the calling I have received (Eph. 4:1).

Not often enough these days, do I find myself just resting in the greatness of God.

“‘Holy, holy, holy

   is the Lord God Almighty,’

   who was, 

and is, 

and is to come.”

Revelation 4:8b

 I felt like this was a fitting focus for Advent. For those precious moments when I can slip away, alone, to rest in the One who came to make a way and will come again to make all things right. 

We are invited to revel in His JOY, 

to participate in His revelation of love, 

and to bear witness to His splendor and majesty that is worthy of all adoration and praise.

I need a lot of visual reminders these days :). I easily forget and lose my focus. I found this delightful picture, added the words that center my heart, printed it off and framed it so that I can be drawn back into this reality each time I see the photo that is perched on my windowsill.

The inspiration to decorate for Christmas came at the perfect time. Little M had only ONE DAY of school last week, and so the fun process of unpacking trinkets, checking lights and vacuuming up alllll the bits of tinsel that found their way around the house lasted for a few days. What FUN we had! We listened to the first round of Christmas music, dimmed the lights for the full, mini-light effect and tried to light candles that were cheap and not very effective ;). (Note to self, you'll need to pick up more tea lights!)

“Great and marvelous are your deeds, 

   Lord God Almighty. 

Just and true are your ways, 

   King of the nations. 

Who will not fear you, Lord, 

   and bring glory to your name? 

For you alone are holy. 

All nations will come 

   and worship before you, 

for your righteous acts have been revealed."

Revelation 15:3b-4

Let heaven and nature sing!

ps - Thought I LOVE snow, I am thankful that it has not yet officially arrived. These weeks, we travel to school 1-3 times per week, and the morning and afternoon walks are SPECTACULAR!!

Earth Angel

As always, posts "percolate" for a while before I add them to my blog. Many many many ideas never find their way into words. 

I've been wanting to do a on someone very special for a long time. But I was just waiting for all the words to gather together....

At first I was going to call it "Super Woman"... but then, in an email one day, my youngest sister referred to my mom as "Earth Angel" and I knew I'd found the phrase I'd been searching for.

To call her "Super Woman" wouldn't be accurate. She's not ever "above anyone" or superior in any way.  Though how she manages to do as much as she does for all of us that know her is still a mystery to me.  Rather, she's an Earth Angel. She's practical,  reliable,  and always always always ready to help.

She doesn't ever claim to have all the answers, but listens to me as I sort through life's issues. She is a sounding board, and even when we don't see things from the same perspective (her floors are spotless, mine are seldom washed :); she's always early, I'm usually late!!; she presses ahead while I tend to question things a bit more), she doesn't try to convince me otherwise. She lets me learn ;). Especially as I dealt with stuff at the beginning of Sweet K's life, I had her on speed-dial. Her words to me, "call anytime..." meant more than anything else she could have done or said. Except for those times when she brought over homemade soup and treats, maybe ;).

 "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" - Charles Caleb Colton once said. We are very different people, and I wouldn't do everything the same way, but I do hope that I can be the stable, listening, guiding presence to my girls that my mother has been to me. 

What an honor that would be.

As I looked for pictures of my mother, I couldn't find very many. That's because she's always hovering in the background, lending a helping hand whenever possible. At birthday parties, christmas festivities, outings and so on, she's always there, ready to grab a stroller or a diaper bag and lend a helping hand. The other day, Sweet K cried when "Gama" left. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she wandered around the house, looking for her friend. I felt sad too. I enjoy our visits, our frequent phone chats and our laughs. Because there is ALWAYS something to laugh about!!!

She prays, she listens,

she learns and laughs with us.

My siblings and I are blessed.

Thank you mom!!!

 

A Tale of Three Smooches!

Frequently throughout this last pregnancy, I got asked if I was hoping for a boy.

I'd smile and chuckle -- I guess with two gallies already, a boy would round things out a bit.

Especially for Jon. I suspect there'll be some serious pre-teen mood swings around this place ;).

But, truthfully, it really didn't matter to me one iota. The fact that we'd gone on to have a third child was already the fulfillment of a deep longing, and it wasn't that we were "trying" for a boy. I knew, in my heart, that our family was missing someone and that this person was meant to be.

Little M desperately wanted a brother, though. She even "talked to God" about it one evening while we were saying our prayers. Our conversation went something like this:

M: Mommy, should we ask God if we are having a boy or a girl?

Me: Well, we could.....

M: Okay. God. God? God?? Are you there? Silence.

Me: Really wondering what was going on in M's silence. What kind of lessons would she learn from this prayer? What kind of questions would she ask!?

M: God? Yeah, are we having a brother or a sister? Silence.

Me: Welllllll?

M: God said we are having a boy!!!!

Me: Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see, won't we :)!

Well, we went on to have another beautiful baby girl. We were DELIGHTED!!!

Smooch #1: Little M

aka. Firecracker.

She is witty, intelligent, sensitive

and challenges me because she is 

so very much like me :). 

I LOVE her passion!!

 Smooch #2: Sweet K

aka. gentle

Her name literally means sweet-scented spice

and she is so mild-tempered.

Even at this young age, she has a definite soft spot 

for people with disabilities. She gravitates toward them,

seeking to draw them into play time.

Blesses my heart every time!

Smooch #3: Wee One

Little Miss Wiggle

She is active. 

ALWAYS moving. 

Always discovering.

From the moment we put her on her stomach that very first time,

she was trying to crawl!

My sisters (who both have sons) hoped I'd have a boy that would 

dangle from the chandeliers!!!

I may not have a son, but I suspect that this little one will keep

me hopping!!!!

When Jon came home from the hospital to tell the girls they had a sister, we were not sure what Little M's reaction would be. She knocked our socks off with her response:

Jon: You girls have a baby sister. We're going to have THREE GIRLS in this family.

M: "Well daddy, that's just three times the trouble!!!"

We love this three-daughter life, and are delighted by them daily.

We eagerly anticipate living through the adventure of the Tale of Three Smooches!!!

Sleep in Heavenly Peace......

"I have almost given up hope." I simply stated on the phone a few weeks ago.
I was speaking with my mom.
I was referring to sleep at night.
It is a very big deal.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, 

but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

For the past three years, we have combatted sleep issues around here. Very, very little in my parenting journey has been as challenging as this. Most nights, our Sweet K, now just over three years old, could be up anywhere from 1 time (that is extremely rare), to 2 times (what I consider a VERY good night), but most commonly between 5-10 times. Sometimes she'd be up for an hour, sometimes three. Not really crying a lot, but complaining.

Enough to keep me awake.
And enough to keep me constantly seeking solutions.

I've learned, since beginning this adventure, that children with learning issues often have sleep difficulties. Their bitty bodies and brains process information and stimulation differently and this naturally affects their sleeping habits. Of course, not every child with a sleep issue has learning disabilities, and conversely not every child who learns differently has a sleep issue. But the correlation between the two is very, very common.

A few things I am learning along the way....
 - Heavy blankets matter. The extra weight of a wool blanket vs. a synthetic fiber makes a big difference. Keeps a restless one more settled.
 - Jammies are a big deal. No cute little pjs for this girlie. It's head-to-toe, polar fleece sleepers. Anything much lighter and we are awake A LOT!!!
 - Milk at night is a no no. First, it is bad for their teeth. Second, a slurp of creamy milk is far more tempting then a splash of water. If thirst is an issue, then fine. We'll grab a drink. But I'll make it as unappealing as possible ;).
 - Crying it out works --- sometimes. This is not a one-size-fits-all solution. I have let Sweet K cry it out, but unless I work like a detective to figure out the root cause of the awakenings, it's really all for not.
 - Routine is a must. Well, that is one of my personal mantras anyway ;) --- we help maintain sanity around here by keeping our days pretty predictable. Nap times (or rest times) are essential, but cannot be allowed to interfere with night sleep.
 - Watch what they eat at supper. In the past few months, Sweet K has become a very difficult eater. Well, she eats GREAT if it's things she likes, but if not, it becomes a battle of the wills!!! I quickly realized that a skimpy supper affects much more than my blood pressure at the dinner table (which tends to skyrocket with frustration ;P)!!! If I know that we are in for a fight on our hands during supper, then K gets something a little more substantial at snack (keeping in mind this is not a reward for not eating well, but something that I know will tide her through the night better than goldfish crackers!!!).

All this helps. A little. And it goes in cycles. Our Tiny L has become a fussy baby during the night in the past few weeks and I know that this impacts Sweet K's light slumber as well.

We are also venturing into the world (very very slowly and with extreme caution) of supplements. I have recently started Sweet K on a very very very small dose of Melatonin, which if taken for the short term, should have very little side effects (I have not noticed any),  and it can help regulate the body's natural melatonin production. From the reading that I've done, there seems to be quite a high success rate among children who have development delays, autism and ADD/ADHD. If this doesn't work, there are several other options to explore.

However, here again is where I stop and marvel at the grace of God. Spoken or unspoken, my daily prayer is that He would enable me to live well, love well in spite of the fatigue. Some days are quite rough, but I have again discovered that


"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

I wrestle with the limitations of exhaustion all the time (there is so much I want to do, but have no energy to do it!!) and that is frustrating. I also forget a lot of stuff. So, if I have met you on the street, and forgotten your name, I am truly sorry!!! I am working on this, I promise!! I don't feel like my "best self" most of the time, and sometimes I am sad about that.

And yet, in spite of this, I am amazed by how God weaves into this the beautiful sweetness of life. Every day it is a blessing for which I am grateful. I don't like it when people tell me that "this time goes so fast" because I know that it does and am already so hard trying to savor every moment. And in spite of the fog, His grace allows me to absorb, embrace, love and keep on keeping on.

What a gift!!

My words to my mom that morning were desperate, maybe even a shade hormonal ;), but untrue.
I have not given up hope.
The God who stands with us in the midst of this is inviting me to persevere under the protection of His grace.

I wrote a quote down the other day; one I picked up from a novel I was reading:
"You know what? I used to think the creator tested me to discover how strong I was. Lately, though, I've begun to realize that he has an entirely different purpose in mind. The author of my life already knows everything about me, so he already knows how strong I am. The tests come to me - and to you - so we will know how strong HE IS when he carries us through what we cannot handle alone." The Novelist, Angela Hunt.


You may not be "Sleepless in Smallville Manitoba" :) - but you may find your hope challenged too, from time to time. I'd love to hear what you are learning as He is carrying you through.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, 

but a longing fulfilled 

[and a good night's rest!!!!]

is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

Sweet dreams!

TAGGED!!

Well, as a follow up to my last post :), my friend Chantelle tagged me with these "getting to know you" questions.... 


Here goes :).....


1. What is your favorite memory of your childhood years?
Oh my. Must I pick just one :)? I grew up on a grain farm, in rural Manitoba, with two spunky sisters and a fun kid bro. We got into a lot of mischief, mostly innocent really, and I thank my dear sisters (who are among my closest friends) for teasing me out of my fairly reserved character. They made my growing up that much more fun!!! These days, Little M is asking all about "when you made mischief, mommy..." and I tell her tales of coloring Uncle Mark's hair pink with Kool-aid, getting stuck in mud puddles, having my very own room for the first time (only to share "camp outs"on the floor, with my sisters!!), climbing everything possible (except that I am afraid of heights, which is interesting when you get UP but can't get DOWN!!), and on. We swam in the pond on hot summer days, were always "building" or "crafting" something or other. We went biking all over the country side. We tried sleeping on the roof. In October. I got too cold and chickened out :). We camped all over the yard. Stayed a lot with my Grandma G when my parents were harvesting. We went fishing. And traveling across the United States of America every spring in the Family Mini Van. Life was never dull. And if it was, and you got caught complaining, there were rows of evergreens to hoe, lawns to be mowed, bathrooms to be cleaned and rooms to be dusted!!!

2. What did you want to be when you grew up?
That varied depending on what mood I was in :). As the Big Sister, I was also pretty bossy!! So, for a while I thought I had a calling to teach ;) - not that teachers are bossy (not at all!), but I always played the part of a teacher, and thought it was my destiny.... turns out my calling is NOT teaching :) at all. Because I played piano from a very early age and managed to go quite far, everyone always assumed I'd teach piano lessons one day. Very early I knew this was not my passion, though I enjoy playing and learning piano, but I strongly suspected I would never teach.
I went through a phase where I wanted to be single, sophisticated and carry a brief case. But that went with uncomfortable dress suits and high heels (never a strong point for me!) so that dream came and went. Quickly.
At one point I did want to be a singer. I am NOT a singer either :).


Really, each phase of "what I wanted to be when I grew up" was about helping me define who I was, who I was not, and to dust off the expectations of others and discover the authentic me. I have started a masters degree in counseling, but am not sure if this is where God is calling me to invest my time, energy, finances and my service for Him. That process of discernment will take place over the next few years (with this limited amount of sleep, there's no WAY I'm wasting money on classes I'll never be able to remember!!!!).


3. If you had an evening to yourself with no expectations placed on you, what would you do?
I would probably need two or three evenings, in a row :) --- because the first evening I would rattle around trying to detox from running around all the time!!
 - I'd sit in a quaint coffee shop/book store, with a book -- preferably something funny that would make me burst out laughing from time to time :)
 - I'd watch copious amounts of home improvement shows OR, even better, CRIME DRAMA. I am a sucker for a good episode of Law & Order. I'd make popcorn, twice if I could, drink a special Irish Bailey's on ice, cozy up under my favorite afghan, and ohhhhh enjoy an uninterrupted moment :)!
 - I'd hang out with a friend, again at a cozy coffee shop
 - I'd go shopping. All day :). And not feel guilty about spending money. ;)
 - I'd S.L.E.E.P. Then go for a massage, and then come home and sleep S.O.M.E. M.O.R.E.


Okay. I'd better stop. I probably won't get an evening like this for a while and this is making me antsy!!!


4. What would you like to learn to do sometime in this life?
 - Play the violin.
 - Build something. Properly. 
 - Bake buns the way my MOM does :)


5. Last book you read? Favorite book?
Last book: Water For Elephants


Favorite book: There are literally too many to name. Usually when I am reading a book that is speaking to me on several different levels - spiritually, intellectually, creatively, etc. - and changes my perspective on life --- that becomes my favorite book for the next while :). Not sure what the last one was, since my memory is fuzzy these days!!!
6. Would people describe you as a "girly-girl" or more of a "tom-boy"?
Well, I'm not a "tom boy," but certainly not "girly" either. I am "low maintenance." Sort of!

7. Favorite beverage?
Coffee. coffee. coffee. coffee.
8. Childhood nickname? Current nickname?
I'm not sure if I have a nickname right now. I have one for myself (that's kinda strange!). When I do something REALLY intelligent (I'm being sarcastic here!), I say "way to go, Gerbrant." That's my maiden name. Not sure why I started, but it's kinda stuck.


My dad started calling me Peaches in Grade 8 as a joke in Sunday School. It stuck too :).


Wow. That's a lot about me. Now, apparently I get to tag a few more people with my own questions...
     My sweet neighbor, Ruth
     A friend from one street over :), Svea
     We giggled through college classes together, as GROWN UPS!!! Josie
    


1. What has been a life defining moment?
2. Who has totally impacted you and why?
3. Are you more about sunrises or sunsets :)?
4. What's your favorite way to relax?
5. What's one area of struggle where you've experienced victory?
6. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal or special blanky :)?
7. If you could vacation anywhere, where would it be?
8. What is one of your favorite recipes?

On Becoming Known...

There's nothing like a really great inside joke to bond a great relationship!


Nothing says, "I know you - You know me" like that shared, insider detail that can only be swapped by true pals. A tidbit of information forged out of shared stories, laughter, tears, countless hours of hashing through life's little (and big) issues, listening, learning --- and allowing oneself to become known. 


The process of discovery is a genuine gift; true camaraderie is rare and priceless.


I have thought of this often in the past few months, as I have been getting to know this new little light in our lives. A gem, she is, full of gorgeous smiles and grace that fits with her name. Few things thrill me more than discovering a connection with my child, responding to each one in a way that is meaningful for where we BOTH are at! Or finding a way to bring a smile to their daddy's face :). Or discovering that though I may not have spoken with a friend for some time, it is like no time has passed at all and we're giggling at all the same delightful things all over again.

These words from 1 Corinthians 13 have caught my heart's attention as I've hustled and bustled around the house, chasing kids, tidying toys and squirting the dog with a water pistol so that he learns to STOP EXCESSIVE BARKING!!! Life is never dull :).


Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 


The fact that I am fully known by a Savior who loves me takes my breath away. 
Even more astounding, however, is the invitation to get to know His Heart as well!!
He longs to share His world with mine when I sit and listen.
Amazing.


There is beauty in discovering someone.
And there is grace in becoming known.
And what a precious journey it is.

Bitter sweet

Across the street, the neighbors mature trees are about to burst forth into their spectacular fall foliage. In a few short weeks our own fall-gold ash will turn a brilliant shade of gold. Such a treat! In truth, my whole sun-soaked summer (which I do not want to waste a single minute of though!!) is spent in anticipation of this time of year.

This autumn, however, is bitter-sweet.

This morning Little M joined the ranks of millions of children across North America and headed off to kindergarten.
For the very. first. time.

All summer long my heart has begged time to slow a little.
Well, except for that dreadful week that we had to tackle tantrums, horrendous nights and ultimate sass-fests all in one delightful stretch of 7 days!! That week I was ready to resign and head to the hills for some PAQ!! 

I'm not ready for this.

  

As a SAHM, I feel like until now, I've had front row, centre stage privileges; watching the drama unfold as she grew, explored, played, fought, cried, laughed, learned. I've applauded with standing ovations, held my breath through the tense moments and cried a bit now and then too :) Now, however, I begin to share that remarkable saga with an audience full of other people. Teachers, friends, parents, and many others --- and suddenly I am no longer in the front row all the time (but maybe at least some of the time :P).

She's ready for the adventure of a lifetime. And I'm ready to embrace it alongside of her.

In preparation for the Big Day, we baked fresh buns together so that she could have them in her lunch kit (her request ;p). We painted toe nails, carefully selected outfits, labeled school supplies and laughed and teased and frolicked along the way. It was great. Often though I stood back, tears at the ready, trying to soak it all in.

Today I look around the quiet house in wonder.
Who will line up the plastic dinosaurs so that they can all see out the windows?
Who will talk my ears off :)?
Who will pull out ALL the toys before 9am!?
Who will stand up on the picnic table on the deck, pretending it's a stage, arms stretched wide open singing praises to Jesus? Certainly won't be me! Flimsy little table probably couldn't hold my weight anyway :)!!! Plus, I'm a bit reserved that way, unfortunately!!!


Sweet K and I are feeling a little lost, I think. We blink at each other a lot :). It's good, giving her my one-on-one attention when Wee One is down for her nap. And I feel more good great things on the horizon.

But today is the first day of change.
And it's bitter sweet.