Monday, March 26, 2012

Overwhelmed

We were settling in for the last stint of the morning's school work.
Math.
Usually, not a big deal. We've come to enjoy skip counting and adding and word problems and subtracting, and on a productive morning we even get two pages done ;).


But as M turned the page, I could hear --- Moooooom. I can't do this!! I just can't do this!! I ... just... can't.
I peeked at the page. Adding? Subtracting?
Not usually an issue --- but then I knew the problem.
Too many problems!
A page FULL of problems.


When we broke it down line by line - doing a line from right to left, or left to right - it became manageable. Feasible. Conquerable.
Within a reasonable amount of done, work was done and the lesson behind us.
The math lesson, anyway.


But the life lesson lingers.
I know that same overwhelming feeling.
I turn the page over to start the day and all I can see are the problems. So many squeezed into one day, I get stalled and don't know what to start or finish. Decisions need to be made. Parenting challenges addressed. Developmental questions I'd love to find the answers to. Conflicts? Got 'em too. Chores. All the projects I'd love to do, people I'd love to connect with, acts of love I'd love to give. Fatigue that never seems to go away. Then there's me, personally. Issues that seem to persist, even though I've addressed them a hundred times a thousand times over. 
It can be hard to know where to start.
And what to finish.

Just like M calls out to me, her parent, I call out to the One who has ordained my days. Father, I begin, I just don't know where to start, let alone, finish. It all just seems so .... much.

Some days that overwhelming feeling lingers, and it is just that kind of day. And I get stalled. Or I procrastinate. Or I leave it all, mentally, for a while and just take a break.
Other days, though, His Spirit settles mine, breaks down the options a bit, gives it a creative spin, and helps my heart find direction.
Because it's His direction I so desperately need.

It's funny. 
Some times I look at these text books and think about the things they teach the mind.
More often, though, I look at them and think about what they've taught my heart.

5 comments:

Robin Fehr said...

Wow... great post.
Well said.
Same here.... one sore throat at a time ;) lol...

Nataloon said...

You're a great writer Leah! Glad to follow your blog!

Roo said...

so true leah!!! where did you get the counting thing-a-ma-jingeroo? xo

a very sweet life! said...

Ruth - wouldn't ya know --- it was from Jon's parent's basement!!! It was HIS growing up :)! It even has his name scrawled on the side - don't ya just love neat little things like that ;)???

Roo said...

i do. :)

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